I found myself thinking about certain things life you took for granted and that, I realized, if at all.
During my father's illness I found myself in and out of hospitals with him for long periods of time. The worsening of his illness has led me to leave any commitment to take care of him. It was the obvious thing for me. I have not had to make great reflections. It was a bit 'as ending the telephone bill and I have to pay ", in short, the natural course of things.
I realized that this choice has instead provoked a surprise to many of the people around me, as if I had chosen the alternative rare rather than the most obvious thing to do.
In conversations with family and friends, then I realized seeking a reason hidden in my choice: "My father certainly had to have big capital that I felt I needed to protect my fisca constant presence at his side ..." or "maybe I was looking for a way to separate me from my husband. After many years of marriage, he feels the need to breathe a little" or perhaps "I was looking for an excuse to quit a job that had become too stressful, after all, can not continue forever to do the job full of ideals but very poor remuneration as in my case and then all travel the world ... after a little 'tired'.
In fact under that profile, I inherited from my father just debts, I'm still paying. Separation from my husband, in those conditions, was one of the most painful experiences and memories that I separate myself from my work, even if only temporarily, it makes me feel a kind of constant apnea, as if I were no longer me.
At first, eyes wide trying to make others understand what was going on in reality, then I realized it was completely useless. One can not understand someone a reality that is completely foreign and I decided I could go on thinking what they wanted.
But I felt great compassion for human misery in which they were living and that of course, for them, was the rule.
Shortly before Easter, with my little Panda, just to the cemetery, leaving a parking lot, I swiped a big shiny SUV. I looked a bit 'around to see if I found the owner of that car and then I wrote him a note with my name and phone number, and the confession that, yes, I was really me to crawl its beauty and I put the ticket on his windshield.
I got a call from this gentleman the same day, was very wary and suspicious and asked me if I had really left the note and was not someone to make me a joke. I repeated that I was really me doing the damage and I'm very sorry, I was profuse in apologies and asked how I could fix it. The conversation was strange, stunted. I thought it was really furious that his beautiful car had been damaged.
In any case, the end of that painful phone conversation we decided that he would see his car from the coaches, would get a quote and get back to me. So it was. He told me the figure that I should pay for the damage, I met him and I paid.
When we met, finally, looked at me as if I were a rare species of insect. I studied with one eye. I spoke with circumspection, as we talk with someone who is not completely normal.
I was really surprised.
I looked in the mirror to see if I had something strange. The mirror I have postponed the usual image of me. Nothing so strange and so original.
Finally, looking into his eyes wondering what was wrong and he answers me candidly "knows, is not the first time that my SUV was damaged in a parking lot, she, however, is the first person that gives me the name, phone number and offers to pay damages. " Basically I looked to see if I was perfectly normal because he had to be something wrong with such an exception to the rule.
I could be completely insane, incapable of discernment, too young and naive, so ignorant and do not know how it goes the world. Yes .. well ... all the reasons why someone behaves so differently by others, those who "know how it goes."
Then came my turn to look at him as if he were crazy. I was about to launch into a series of reassurances, I explained that it considered normal to do what I did but then I realized that anything I could say at that moment, for him there must be something wrong with me. So I stopped to force myself to let him know. Paid him, I went and although living and working in my own small town, I have not seen again.
not know how it happened but at some point, what was supposed to be the rule, has become an exception and for a large slice of humanity the exception has become the new rule.
It 's a bit the same way of thinking of the entire tax system. It is assumed that the person or company is evading taxes, and then all the tax assessments or investigations on this subject are made with this point of view. In short, the idea that someone is innocent until proven guilty is completely reversed in this field and in other movements.
But it is normal that this is so because most of the Italians think so. It is assumed that people avoid paying taxes and if you do you're not normal. Dishonesty has become a common custom, the rule.
I could go on to list examples of moral degradation and I am sure that you too can do the same but I think that it is not necessary since we have before our eyes every day.
course, would be more convenient to adjust and go with the flow, doing what he does most of the people.
Ma .. You know what? I prefer to remain a rare insect ...
Buona Domenica.
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